As an educator with over 30 years of experience, I like to challenge my curiosity with big questions.  Perhaps the biggest for me, professionally: Is schooling life-worthy?

I live a life of connection – and sometimes I feel this is a divine interaction, what I call a food-web moment. 

I was reading a brilliant book, Yes Brain by Daniel Siegel and Payne Bryson, and I turned to a page in the middle of the book and this word was highlighted in bold.  Along with that word was the statement: honouring the spark within.

Eudaimonia is an Ancient Greek word which refers to a life full of meaning, connection and equanimity. “Daimon” refers to the notion we have an authentic and unique self – an inner essence that radiates through all our interactions.  The prefix ‘eu-’ means “true” or “good”.  Therefore, Eudaimonia is about the true and good life qualities that result from acknowledging and honouring our uniqueness.

We sometimes see our child’s uniqueness as referenced to the genetic traits of parents – or grandparents… sometimes uncles or aunts: “You are just like your father” or “They are as stubborn as their grandmother”.  The reality is that this taxonomy of the essence of individuality is too basic.  Our children, like us, are truly unique – a magical potion mixed up from so many ancestors and influences.  And we are guiding their authentic selves to be in touch with their beautiful and fragile uniqueness in our beautiful and fragile environment: Human Nature in Nature.

“You are not your brain, you are a living being that is connected to an environment” – Alva Noe, professor of philosophy, Berkeley

When I first set eyes on the term, Eudaimonia, it jumped out as this is what I want to see define the purpose, the intention, the vision of Living School.  We want to establish the relationships of trust so each of our unique individual students gain an authentic sense of self by being, belonging and becoming.  Can we do this?  It is a very high ideal.

It is not new.  Maria Montessori stated in Education of the Individual:

“We must make an immediate collective effort to foster the development of personality. Such an effort will not be forthcoming simply because educators advocate it. All mankind must subconsciously be impelled to move forward.  Education today operates in the same time-hallowed way everywhere; it follows a single narrow path and therefore cannot bring about the development of personality”.

What Montessori highlights is the need to be evolved as people, as adults, consciously aware rather than emotionally charged.  For the reality is we have our own personality – our own Eudaimonia – uniquely developing, too: our essence of self, which is externally monitoring, mentoring, judging and guiding our youngsters/screenagers/others to give of their best.  It is aligned with ‘our’ definition of ‘best’, of how we want others to ‘be’, how we want others to ‘belong’, how we want others to “become”.  And that’s really tough, especially at times when others question our intent or provoke us away from comfort.  We feel this challenge in relationships, when there is a dichotomy of parenting, a sextant of grandparenting, a gaggle of teachers, a chaos of community – all wanting to project into existence “their” values and judgements.  We project “our” personal values – and opinions – on others because our moral compass IS our very core-essence, too.

Consider, then, when things start to be questioned, when others with their unique eudaimonia, confront our id – our ID(entity) – then there is an abrasive tension.  Our ego feels affronted – and if we are still developing our eudaimonia to be self-actualised and we are still maturing in our truly empathetic growth, we take offence. 

When we first take offence, we react and we object, usually to the subjectiveness of the challenge and usually spontaneously (Fight, Flight, Freeze).

Then, in varying degrees, we reflect – and we feel that pang of inner tension.  For some we ruminate over the matter, which leads us to “over-think”: we become anxious.

Sometimes our cogitation avoids going deeply enough to unpack our hurt (referenced by many as the ‘male’ brain) – we shut that emotion down because it is painful.  We don’t like pain.  We want to have ease – it is easier.  We move on but by doing so, we never define the ‘feeling’ so we never actually de-liberate over it, and so we never deal with the learning opportunity.  Can we ‘teach’ children that the worst experience can be their best learning moment?

Teachers, deputies, principals find managing poor behaviour choices the hardest part of ‘teaching’, especially when parents see only their child but not the culture-holder of a collective.  

Parents find managing poor behaviour exhausting, too!  

However, these are the moments of incredible connection.

I share this week’s anecdote:

I had to investigate vaping.  There were numerous students involved.  I really do not ‘understand’ vaping – but, to be honest, when I was a teenager I did experiment with cigarettes (and I found giving them up to be incredibly difficult).  

I sat down and interviewed, questioned and listened to each student.  All but one, were honest, open and incredibly aware.  I could ‘see’ their values – their integrity.  They took responsibility and they were courageous in how they openly discussed their poor choices.  This was my opportunity to ‘see’ their eudaemonia.

I was left with deep love for these young people.  I was proud of them. I felt deep respect – not at the poor behaviour but this moment allowed me to see into their soul.

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There are waves – motions – that wash into our psyche and cause us to feel the trough: that deep bottom of despair, hopeless hurt; and we rise up to confront the challenge as a ‘wrong’ – another person’s wrong.  We blame. It’s easy to blame because it takes responsibility away from us and places it on others.

It’s called the ASEF syndrome: Always Someone Else’s Fault. 

Crikey, living can be really crappy at times!

Too often we blame the A (antecedent) for C (the consequence).

However, as Martin Seligman (positive psychology) highlights, it is actually our Beliefs that trigger our feeling.  Once we are aware, we can dispute our beliefs to change the way we feel.

A school IS a social-pscho-ecosystem.  It is about placing your child into a collective – in preparation to allow the individual to function in our society… independently and with good judgement.

What we are doing is committing our child to become truly free – independent from us but with good judgement!  As Montessori goes on to say,

“The fundamental freedom – the freedom of the individual – is necessary for the evolution … for two reasons: (1) it gives individuals infinite possibilities for growth and improvement and constitutes the starting point of a (hu)man’s complete development; (2) it makes the formation of a society possible, for freedom is the basis of human society.

We must make it possible for the individual to be free and independent.  The key to this complex problem is to furnish means for development of the free personality that have to do with the environment as well.  The environment must promote not only the freedom of the individual, but also the formation of a society.”

I deal with tension daily… not always well.  I deal with blame frequently… and sometimes I offload this, too, as my response (I am the first to know I am yet to fully form).  

As the Conductor of this community, I strive to operate, rationally, in the belief (my moral judgement) that I am doing good. 

We re-act (retaliate) not out of arrogance but out of care and broader knowledge – a school is a very complex system.  A school is a culture-forming society with many stakeholders.  I know they may hold stakes, but they actually uphold CULTURE.

A school must care for “our” values.  “We” must strive to cultivate “our” sense of kindness, emphasise “our” desire for engagement, “our” definition of confidence, openness, resilience; “we” should assert “our” ethic of excellence rather than easing into mediocrity; “we” have a responsibility to project “our” passion; but “we” must act with patience, so my “I” feels positive for our “us”, and that allows “us all” to trust, to rise, to persevere, and to give unconditionally so we can rationally nurture independence. 

All of these ‘attitudes’ underpin our VAST model of universal qualities for success.  

Our VAST graphic explicitly outlines the ideal ethics of a community culture; the capacity for us to grow positive attitudes to counter the  slugs of negativity; to use our school daze to increase personal competency in skills; and to trust wholly. 

The VAST image is founded on eudaimonia  and the incredible humanism outlined by Maria Montessori, and others.  The ‘Why’ of living school is unique – and strives to answer a statement of peaceful total connectedness – what Bob Randall reveals as total unconditional love – Kanyini.

His Holiness, the 14^th Dalai Lama defines in his resonating quote:

“My hope and wish is that one day, formal education will pay attention to what I call education of the heart. Just as we take for granted the need to acquire proficiency in the basic academic subjects, I am hopeful that a time will come when we can take it for granted that children will learn, as part of the curriculum, the indispensability of inner values: love, compassion, justice, and forgiveness.”